To launch the new website I've decided to host the 69th(1st) annual SBPL Smack off. Im gonna hit the entire league with my smack off rendition of the league on the new site and everyone else should feel free to comment on it with their own smack, make it as long as you like, all topics are fair game, and most importantly talk as much smack as u can about other teams, players, torneys, etc. just remember to bring it hard or im gonna slap ya with a manual buzzer and ur post is gonna get the gate, out (u can also email them to me if you think its good enough to get posted)
Look for my smack to hit the site sometime this weekend.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
March 17, 2008 (Mark Buman sitting in for Eric Truyman)
First and foremost, I would like to send my condolences to Eric Truyman and his family in light of the news that he will not be participating in this year’s Big Dance. With Truyman absent, I will be taking over the “Truyman Doctrine” for this tournament. The best way to commemorate Troutman is to pong our hearts out and leave it all out on the table at this year’s March Madness - The Big Dance. Without further ado, I give you the first ever, and hopefully last, “Buman Doctrine”.
Let’s start out with a rundown of the seeds for this year’s tourney:
#1 Brad Tollefson & Dan Genke#2 Kyle Cornelius & Mark Buman#3 Jayke Moeller & Kev VDL#4 Joe Leiterman & Robert Castillo#5 Mike Mullen & Greg Vande Voort#6 A.J. Krull & Jordan Lile#7 Ryan Blohm & Jamie Goffard#8 Noell Vanden Heuvel & Katy Buman
I must say, this field reminds a lot of the less touted and lower exposure NCAA tournament that is also beginning this week. The number 1 seed of Brad and Dan are your North Carolina. A traditional powerhouse with a quick strike offense. Brad will be running the point and Dan will provide a presence inside at the pong tables. The duo has compiled the winningest record in the past year with an impressive 19-8 record at the past three tournaments. These guys are more of a lock to make the final four than Tuzy is to puke during a case race.
Coming in at a number 2 seed we have myself and Kyle Cornelius, representing Duke. We are both long time rivals of Tolly and Genke, and live just down Tobacco Road, errr Highway 54, from our hated foes. We are strong contenders to make the final four but we can’t pronounce our coach’s last name...Kru-zew-skee?... but he’s too busy filming American Express commercials to notice anyways.
Jayke Moeller and Kev VDL come into the tournament garnering a number 3 seed. They remind me of the Xavier Musketeers. They’ve been in the tourney for countless years and have both been very close to breaking through. They are on the verge of greatness and this may be their year to bust into the spotlight, much like Kev’s shlong through his barndoor in chemistry class.
Joe Leiterman and Robert Castillo are the number 4 seed and remind me a lot of the Wisconsin Badgers. They received a disrespectful seed in the middle of the pack but everyone knows they are dangerous and consistent. Joe Leiterman has long range shooting skills reminiscent of Jason Bohannon, and Robert Castillo is a brute force who can grind out tough cups when you need them like Joe Krabbenhoft. I think this team will advance deep into the tournament but you never know when Joe will pass out on the front lawn or leave to go to Taco Bell just before the championship game.
Next we have the mid major sleepers at the 5, 6, and 7 seeds. First up is the number 5 Mike Mullen and Greg Vande Voort. They are the equivalent of George Mason and are my Cinderella pick this year and will advance to the final four. Mike has showed promise in the past and the SBPL is about to learn just how good of a shooter Greg can be.
The 6 seed is an intriguing team with long time vet A.J. Krull and newcomer Jordan Lile. Jordan has called his shot on the message board, but I know nothing about him in terms of pong. On the other hand, A.J. has been around longer than Eddie Sutton. I think this team will more likely resemble Sutton’s run at San Francisco rather than Oklahoma State, but their promise to use Mountain Creek could scare some teams into playing not to lose and we all know what happens when you do that.
The last of the mid majors is number 7 seed Ryan Blohm and Jamie Goffard. My colleagues are high on these guys but I just don’t see it. Their inexperience may doom them in the end but they will play competitive pong and hopefully drink their beer faster than Claude does when he loses. We are still waiting for some of his cups from last year.
Last but not least, ha yea right, we have the Noell Vanden Heuvel and Katy Buman. They remind me of the number 15 seeded UMBC Retrievers. Not many people are giving them a chance, but with some long range bombing they could knock off a giant. Let’s face it, they aren’t that good, but they are least better than a team featuring perennial Nancy Award finalist Mike “Captain” Lardinois and an underhand shooting Shaun Brill. I don’t know if I’d rather see the lowly girls run the table in reverse or see them do well and have Doc Tolly’s belt get more ass than a priest in Sunday School.
That’s enough talk about seeding and the NCAA, lets delve into final predictions. I know many of you will be filling out your SBPL bracket for AA meeting group pools and are still a little undecided about your predictions. I have finished mine, and the predictions are sure to backfire in my face, so here we go. For round robin results I like Dan and Brad to capture the #1 seed with a 6-1 record in pool play. At #2 I’m going with Leiterman and Castillo to prove their doubters wrong by going 5-2. For the last two spots I’m predicting a three way tie between Kyle and myself, Jayke and Kev, and Mike and Greg all at 4-3. The last of my bold predictions is the girls to win at least one game, but that is it. Doc’s belt will strike again, that is my lock and load guarantee of the tournament.
A quick rundown of round robin predictions:
1. Brad/Dan 6-1 2. Joe/Robert 5-23. Mike/Greg 4-34. Kyle/myself 4-35. Jayke/Kev 4-36. AJ/Jordan 2-57. Ryan/Jamie 2-58. Noell/Katy 1-6
I will take the teams of Mike/Greg and myself/Kyle to win the tiebreaker and advance to the final four. In the final four I like Dan and Tolly to take out myself and Kyle in the 1 vs. 4 matchup. Also, I see Leiterman and Robert crushing the glass slipper of Mike and Greg in the semi’s. I would be as lame as Clark Kellogg picking all the #1 seeds to make the final four if I picked Dan and Brad, so just because of that fact I’m picking Leiterman and the Sorta Rican Robert Castillo to win it all in a decisive third and final game.
This year’s March Madness action should be thrilling as always. Good luck to all in the tournament, especially to myself and Kyle. Filling in for Eric Truyman, I’m Mark Buman, bidding you farewell appropriately in his words...”Welp, see ya later”.
Let’s start out with a rundown of the seeds for this year’s tourney:
#1 Brad Tollefson & Dan Genke#2 Kyle Cornelius & Mark Buman#3 Jayke Moeller & Kev VDL#4 Joe Leiterman & Robert Castillo#5 Mike Mullen & Greg Vande Voort#6 A.J. Krull & Jordan Lile#7 Ryan Blohm & Jamie Goffard#8 Noell Vanden Heuvel & Katy Buman
I must say, this field reminds a lot of the less touted and lower exposure NCAA tournament that is also beginning this week. The number 1 seed of Brad and Dan are your North Carolina. A traditional powerhouse with a quick strike offense. Brad will be running the point and Dan will provide a presence inside at the pong tables. The duo has compiled the winningest record in the past year with an impressive 19-8 record at the past three tournaments. These guys are more of a lock to make the final four than Tuzy is to puke during a case race.
Coming in at a number 2 seed we have myself and Kyle Cornelius, representing Duke. We are both long time rivals of Tolly and Genke, and live just down Tobacco Road, errr Highway 54, from our hated foes. We are strong contenders to make the final four but we can’t pronounce our coach’s last name...Kru-zew-skee?... but he’s too busy filming American Express commercials to notice anyways.
Jayke Moeller and Kev VDL come into the tournament garnering a number 3 seed. They remind me of the Xavier Musketeers. They’ve been in the tourney for countless years and have both been very close to breaking through. They are on the verge of greatness and this may be their year to bust into the spotlight, much like Kev’s shlong through his barndoor in chemistry class.
Joe Leiterman and Robert Castillo are the number 4 seed and remind me a lot of the Wisconsin Badgers. They received a disrespectful seed in the middle of the pack but everyone knows they are dangerous and consistent. Joe Leiterman has long range shooting skills reminiscent of Jason Bohannon, and Robert Castillo is a brute force who can grind out tough cups when you need them like Joe Krabbenhoft. I think this team will advance deep into the tournament but you never know when Joe will pass out on the front lawn or leave to go to Taco Bell just before the championship game.
Next we have the mid major sleepers at the 5, 6, and 7 seeds. First up is the number 5 Mike Mullen and Greg Vande Voort. They are the equivalent of George Mason and are my Cinderella pick this year and will advance to the final four. Mike has showed promise in the past and the SBPL is about to learn just how good of a shooter Greg can be.
The 6 seed is an intriguing team with long time vet A.J. Krull and newcomer Jordan Lile. Jordan has called his shot on the message board, but I know nothing about him in terms of pong. On the other hand, A.J. has been around longer than Eddie Sutton. I think this team will more likely resemble Sutton’s run at San Francisco rather than Oklahoma State, but their promise to use Mountain Creek could scare some teams into playing not to lose and we all know what happens when you do that.
The last of the mid majors is number 7 seed Ryan Blohm and Jamie Goffard. My colleagues are high on these guys but I just don’t see it. Their inexperience may doom them in the end but they will play competitive pong and hopefully drink their beer faster than Claude does when he loses. We are still waiting for some of his cups from last year.
Last but not least, ha yea right, we have the Noell Vanden Heuvel and Katy Buman. They remind me of the number 15 seeded UMBC Retrievers. Not many people are giving them a chance, but with some long range bombing they could knock off a giant. Let’s face it, they aren’t that good, but they are least better than a team featuring perennial Nancy Award finalist Mike “Captain” Lardinois and an underhand shooting Shaun Brill. I don’t know if I’d rather see the lowly girls run the table in reverse or see them do well and have Doc Tolly’s belt get more ass than a priest in Sunday School.
That’s enough talk about seeding and the NCAA, lets delve into final predictions. I know many of you will be filling out your SBPL bracket for AA meeting group pools and are still a little undecided about your predictions. I have finished mine, and the predictions are sure to backfire in my face, so here we go. For round robin results I like Dan and Brad to capture the #1 seed with a 6-1 record in pool play. At #2 I’m going with Leiterman and Castillo to prove their doubters wrong by going 5-2. For the last two spots I’m predicting a three way tie between Kyle and myself, Jayke and Kev, and Mike and Greg all at 4-3. The last of my bold predictions is the girls to win at least one game, but that is it. Doc’s belt will strike again, that is my lock and load guarantee of the tournament.
A quick rundown of round robin predictions:
1. Brad/Dan 6-1 2. Joe/Robert 5-23. Mike/Greg 4-34. Kyle/myself 4-35. Jayke/Kev 4-36. AJ/Jordan 2-57. Ryan/Jamie 2-58. Noell/Katy 1-6
I will take the teams of Mike/Greg and myself/Kyle to win the tiebreaker and advance to the final four. In the final four I like Dan and Tolly to take out myself and Kyle in the 1 vs. 4 matchup. Also, I see Leiterman and Robert crushing the glass slipper of Mike and Greg in the semi’s. I would be as lame as Clark Kellogg picking all the #1 seeds to make the final four if I picked Dan and Brad, so just because of that fact I’m picking Leiterman and the Sorta Rican Robert Castillo to win it all in a decisive third and final game.
This year’s March Madness action should be thrilling as always. Good luck to all in the tournament, especially to myself and Kyle. Filling in for Eric Truyman, I’m Mark Buman, bidding you farewell appropriately in his words...”Welp, see ya later”.
March 26, 2007
Greetings clones, I hope this beautiful March weather is exciting you as much as it excites me. March Madness is upon us and I’m not talking college hoops either. My NCAA bracket has already been burned and leaves with me about the same chance of winning my pool as Michael Matuszak has appearing in this tournament and actually winning a play-in game. However, the same can’t be said about my SBPL March Madness bracket. Like always I’ll breakdown the tourney and make a couple bold predictions that normally turn out correct. Last tourney I correctly picked the winner and even made an ass of myself by predicting an average outing from myself and ended up winning one game (against the girls). While I’m on that topic let's discuss a very bold prediction from yours truly way back in the opening of the SBPL, and I quote “in the event of an All Nancy team facing off against an all girl’s team, the girl’s team will win a tournament game in the SBPL.” I took a lot of shit, but Karma's a bitch, and after last tourney, Tolley’s belt slapping across all your white asses after losing to an all girls team pretty much proved my point. I went out on a limb and stood by my prediction so I think I’ll do it again. The impressive skilled shooting Katy Buman and veteran SBPLer Noell Vanden Heuvel will outshoot enough teams to make the Big Dance bracket. Since there is 13 teams as of now I’m going to pick my 12 and say there will be no Mexicans in this tourney and Vega will be selling Nacho Supremes instead of playing in this tourney (and that was putting it nicely compared to Murphy’s 20 min stint on why he was cut from the basketball team and how bad his mom is in the sack). Let’s start with the Small conference teams that are here to turn some heads and maybe even become the greatest Cinderella team in SBPL history.
I have never seen Zac’s partner play and after a sub par performance in the KKK from Zac I can’t see this team living up to their potential. Shaun and Claude, welp they have played beer pong as long as anyone else in this tourney and would most likely give them an edge but unless Claude can somehow gain his magical shirtless momentum in every game and Shaun plays the opposite of every game he’s ever played in then maybe, just maybe this team turns some heads. Last tourney we all witnessed two teams that needed to win a tiebreaker to make the bracket and took their average records into the playoffs. Gregg/Blake won the close games they needed but Gregg’s one cup maven skills make this team so good at times but so inconsistent at others. Same with Roffers/Jayke they started horrible and caught some fire and rode it to a decent finish last tourney. These two teams are tough as hell at times and inconsistent at others, there a hit or miss and all a team can do is hope their inconsistent when playing these 2 teams. As far as the remaining Mid-Major teams such as Bridges/Kerk and the Mullens a.k.a “the young guns” these two teams will cause a lot of trouble for the powerhouses and I will even go as far as saying these teams will be the reason the same teams that dominated Kings of Cup will be packing up their dirty 30’s a little earlier than they planned. The next team I know a lot about, Myself/Schuh this team has played together at random SBPL outings and beaten teams like Zahny/Kyle and Joe/Buman that is why they will win this tourney…pause…not. But honestly I know better than to bet on myself and know that first time teams in SBPL have not shown to succeed in tourneys. However team chemistry is not an issue here and this team does have a decent chance of playing in the championship game.
On to Powerhouses. The defending champs Tolley/Dan have been taking a lot of heat from the league and even being called out as overrated. First of all, is this team the best in this tourney? Statistically yes they are, they get the job done and have shown more success than any other team this year. They are not overrated and are the definition of supremacy after the last tournament. I know what you’re saying out there Denny Green, they are who they are and if you wanna crown their asses then crown them. But I’m here to inform you their crown will not fit this tournament because their heads are about as big as a fricken watermellon and not to point fingers (Dan) but your enormously large Ego will only leave you disappointed when you fall short of defending your sacred championship belts. Joe/Buman was my pick for last tourney and has been very streaky as of late. Either way they have something about them that make you feel like you’re an underdog anytime you step into the ring against this team. However, this team just hasn’t been their self as of late and all though I know they will be crowned champs somewhere down the road I just don’t see this team getting the job done this tourney. Last tourney we saw a team dominate their pool and not even skip a beat in their path to a seemingly dominant and easy run at gold. Then all of a sudden the wheels came rolling off and this powerhouse duo Kyle/Zahny found themselves losing 2 consecutive championship games by a considerable deficit. This is why my prediction is the team that went undefeated all the way up to the championship, the only difference is they will call in Francisco Cordero a little earlier and close this tourney out victorious.
My final thoughts: This tourney will play out a lot like the current NCAA tourney no glass slippers and no surprise champions, but like all SBPL tourneys their will be many exciting upsets, finishes and end of the night hookups. I’d like to add that outlawing blowing, the most controversial rule since the tuck rule in the historic AFC championship, is the best progress made in the history of SBPL and will award players for clutch shooting, speed up games, and most obviously leave no room for controversy. Drop me an opinion on the message board and prove me wrong by winning the most prestigious award this side of the covenant Iron Man competition held by Jeff Zahn.
I also want to know what everyone thinks about Team pong tourney (4 on 4 every player has 6 cups) Co-ed tourney and other forms of beer pong action. I also think we should expand on the SBPL business aspect and continue to gain revenue at tourneys; food, raffles and shots seem like a good way to go.
This is your SBPL Columnist Eric Truyman signing out, good luck everyone in the tourney and voter #12 you are a disgrace to our league and I got 2 words for ya…..Suck It. Welp see ya later
I have never seen Zac’s partner play and after a sub par performance in the KKK from Zac I can’t see this team living up to their potential. Shaun and Claude, welp they have played beer pong as long as anyone else in this tourney and would most likely give them an edge but unless Claude can somehow gain his magical shirtless momentum in every game and Shaun plays the opposite of every game he’s ever played in then maybe, just maybe this team turns some heads. Last tourney we all witnessed two teams that needed to win a tiebreaker to make the bracket and took their average records into the playoffs. Gregg/Blake won the close games they needed but Gregg’s one cup maven skills make this team so good at times but so inconsistent at others. Same with Roffers/Jayke they started horrible and caught some fire and rode it to a decent finish last tourney. These two teams are tough as hell at times and inconsistent at others, there a hit or miss and all a team can do is hope their inconsistent when playing these 2 teams. As far as the remaining Mid-Major teams such as Bridges/Kerk and the Mullens a.k.a “the young guns” these two teams will cause a lot of trouble for the powerhouses and I will even go as far as saying these teams will be the reason the same teams that dominated Kings of Cup will be packing up their dirty 30’s a little earlier than they planned. The next team I know a lot about, Myself/Schuh this team has played together at random SBPL outings and beaten teams like Zahny/Kyle and Joe/Buman that is why they will win this tourney…pause…not. But honestly I know better than to bet on myself and know that first time teams in SBPL have not shown to succeed in tourneys. However team chemistry is not an issue here and this team does have a decent chance of playing in the championship game.
On to Powerhouses. The defending champs Tolley/Dan have been taking a lot of heat from the league and even being called out as overrated. First of all, is this team the best in this tourney? Statistically yes they are, they get the job done and have shown more success than any other team this year. They are not overrated and are the definition of supremacy after the last tournament. I know what you’re saying out there Denny Green, they are who they are and if you wanna crown their asses then crown them. But I’m here to inform you their crown will not fit this tournament because their heads are about as big as a fricken watermellon and not to point fingers (Dan) but your enormously large Ego will only leave you disappointed when you fall short of defending your sacred championship belts. Joe/Buman was my pick for last tourney and has been very streaky as of late. Either way they have something about them that make you feel like you’re an underdog anytime you step into the ring against this team. However, this team just hasn’t been their self as of late and all though I know they will be crowned champs somewhere down the road I just don’t see this team getting the job done this tourney. Last tourney we saw a team dominate their pool and not even skip a beat in their path to a seemingly dominant and easy run at gold. Then all of a sudden the wheels came rolling off and this powerhouse duo Kyle/Zahny found themselves losing 2 consecutive championship games by a considerable deficit. This is why my prediction is the team that went undefeated all the way up to the championship, the only difference is they will call in Francisco Cordero a little earlier and close this tourney out victorious.
My final thoughts: This tourney will play out a lot like the current NCAA tourney no glass slippers and no surprise champions, but like all SBPL tourneys their will be many exciting upsets, finishes and end of the night hookups. I’d like to add that outlawing blowing, the most controversial rule since the tuck rule in the historic AFC championship, is the best progress made in the history of SBPL and will award players for clutch shooting, speed up games, and most obviously leave no room for controversy. Drop me an opinion on the message board and prove me wrong by winning the most prestigious award this side of the covenant Iron Man competition held by Jeff Zahn.
I also want to know what everyone thinks about Team pong tourney (4 on 4 every player has 6 cups) Co-ed tourney and other forms of beer pong action. I also think we should expand on the SBPL business aspect and continue to gain revenue at tourneys; food, raffles and shots seem like a good way to go.
This is your SBPL Columnist Eric Truyman signing out, good luck everyone in the tourney and voter #12 you are a disgrace to our league and I got 2 words for ya…..Suck It. Welp see ya later
October 11, 2006
First and foremost it is very exciting to hear the SBPL is expanding and things are getting bigger and better. With the recent expansion I have been hired by the commissioner himself to inform the SBPL enthusiasts about what is happening. You can turn your TV on Saturday nights and hear Scott Venci make bold predication, talk about useless interviews, vent about pointless high school teams and their rivalry with Slab City. So my only question was why doesn't the SBPL have "that guy". Well you should be proud to hear that I Eric Truyman can be "that guy." I will be writing frequent columns on what is happening in the world of SBPL.
Before I begin my highly anticipated breakdowns and predictions concerning the upcoming Keystone Kickoff Klassic, I think I'll do my best impression of Jim Rome. Lets get some things straight, yes there are girls in the SBPL, and yes they have the same rights as the males, but to all the girls that waste my perfect 20/20 vision because I get to stare at a message board infested with talk of female dominance in the SBPL, I would like to inform you all that no one cares or ever will care. I'd love to look all of you straight in eyes and hit you with a manual buzzer but again that would be a tremendous waste of my time. Not saying you won't win a game because we all know luck plays a big element in the game of Beer Pong, in fact I wouldn't even be surprised if I or another top 5 team was beaten by females, but the truth of the matter is one win will never amount to SBPL dominance nor will it ever lead to the first ever women Champions. Another thing I cant seem to absorb into my vacant brain is a woman in the player spotlight. All though she was humiliated and used for nothing more than a prop, either way this only brings shame to usually serious Player Spotlight, not. All I'm saying is we have athletes like Gregg Holz who has 2 second place finishes and more SBPL wins than the entire Female teams have games played. Id mention some other notable players like Shaun Brill or the Captain himself but then I'd have nothing to talk about in my Nancy Award breakdown. Now that I feel a lot better and have this Leiterman sized wad of cum off my chest I can get to the good stuff.
Ah....... yes the Keystone Kickoff Klassic, the first ever recorded tournament in league history. The hype for this tournament has reached its maximum potential and opening kickoff is right around the corner leaving people wondering why they had their SBPL fantasy draft so early. Nonetheless lets get down to business. The team that won this tournament last year, Bumand and Leiterman, and nonchalantly took all but one(2nd place) tournament last year is looking to be the clear favorite. Current champs Zahny and Kyle wont be in action, and the only other team to hold the belts for a substantial amount of time, Genke and Truyman, will also not be a team. So your probably saying these Buman and Leiterman will undisputably be wearing gold at the end of the night right? WRONG!! Just kidding you were right the first time. All though they may run into an upset on their familiar trail to the championship these two SBPL future Hall O' Famers are still my pick to win.
As for the rest of the field, my number two pick lacks chemistry but has an unlimited amount of potential to beat anyone, anywhere, anytime. Genke and the Doctor himself Strokefson will make teams look ridiculous and degraded to the point they will ponder why they even entered this tournament. My third team I am very familiar with mainly because I am half of the team. Gregg and Truyman have lost some team unity but still present a very good team. They are statistically the only team that has proven to beat the dynamic duo of Buman and Joe considerable amounts of time, handing them their only loss in last years KKK and taking 2nd place in the only two tournaments they entered. Not to mention a 3-0 night against the two in regular league play.
My next picks may come as a surprise to most, but without doubt there is a strong foundation behind my bold picks. The obvious favorite for the fourth team to make the playoffs is the combo that handed Joe and Buman one of their rare tournament losses, Jayke and Justin. However this is the same team that lost to Brill and Mullen not very long ago. Here's the shocker, they will advance to the playoffs but depending on their pool they will either tie with or win in a tiebreaker to the highly underrated newbie team of Steve-O and Claude. Yes, unfortunately Claude's dreams will all run dry but this team will clearly make noise in their SBPL debut. Claude has proven to be dominant at times and his partner Steve-O is playing for the first time since he was a forefather for the establishment of SBPL and is a very good shot I might add. As for my 6 through 8 picks, the three teams of Brill and Mullen, AJ and Berto and Zahny and Bridges, I'v used a magical picking method I call which team won't fuck themselves over the most. So for my number 6 pick I have the reigning champ Adam Zahn, his sharpshooting ability and consistency has him a top go getter for 1st team all tourny but with too many question marks surrounding this new team they will not pull out an over par performance. My number seven team goes to Young Gun Eric Mullen and his Mulching partner Shaun Brill. These two have very good ability and awesome team chemistry but because of their drunken antics and extreme amount of fun, the long ball will hurt them tremendously in the long run. My last team has a player that will be in bed for weeks because his back will be unbelievably sore from carrying his 250 pound Arab partner. But....AJ will look at making all tourny team and maybe even the honor of sharpshooter. It is hard to give a decent rank to a team with a Puerto Rican that averages negative cups when he plays but anytime your playing with sharpshooter you have a legit chance to be beat anyone and this is why their rank doesn't do them much justice.
As for my number 9 selection there isn't much more to say besides the fact that Mike King and Gabe Vega are two Injuns with some talent but no experience or SBPL. Their natural ability to sink a ball into a cylinder will by default place these two at number 9. Number 10, it feels good to know we have an all male team that may actually be statistically worse than a female team but this team has one thing the other two teams do not, testies, I hope. And that team is Ryan and Jamie, two rookies who have sub par Triple A expereince. As for the women im going to flip a coin, I flipped it, the two Katies won And Noell and Michelle assume last place in my power rnakings. That's all there is to say about these two teams. Both have experience, they both have been on the SBPL circuit as long or longer as the other teams but still lack that almighty thing us males like to refer to as success. I was just starting to get warmed up but I think I'll leave this column at where it stands.
Here in the SBPL were always looking ahead, right now we are in the works of establishing a solid idea for the next tournament. The current idea were working on is a world cup of beer pong theme. Instead of representing your country you'll be representing your Beer. For example Team Keystone Light, you will only be able to drink Keystone light no one else can and you can feel free to deck yourself out in Keystone gear and wave Keystone flags. Let me hear what your thoughts are and if you have any other ideas. Oh I almost forgot, if you have an issue with what I write or disagree with something I said it would probably be in your best interest to SUCK IT. Welp See Ya Later
Before I begin my highly anticipated breakdowns and predictions concerning the upcoming Keystone Kickoff Klassic, I think I'll do my best impression of Jim Rome. Lets get some things straight, yes there are girls in the SBPL, and yes they have the same rights as the males, but to all the girls that waste my perfect 20/20 vision because I get to stare at a message board infested with talk of female dominance in the SBPL, I would like to inform you all that no one cares or ever will care. I'd love to look all of you straight in eyes and hit you with a manual buzzer but again that would be a tremendous waste of my time. Not saying you won't win a game because we all know luck plays a big element in the game of Beer Pong, in fact I wouldn't even be surprised if I or another top 5 team was beaten by females, but the truth of the matter is one win will never amount to SBPL dominance nor will it ever lead to the first ever women Champions. Another thing I cant seem to absorb into my vacant brain is a woman in the player spotlight. All though she was humiliated and used for nothing more than a prop, either way this only brings shame to usually serious Player Spotlight, not. All I'm saying is we have athletes like Gregg Holz who has 2 second place finishes and more SBPL wins than the entire Female teams have games played. Id mention some other notable players like Shaun Brill or the Captain himself but then I'd have nothing to talk about in my Nancy Award breakdown. Now that I feel a lot better and have this Leiterman sized wad of cum off my chest I can get to the good stuff.
Ah....... yes the Keystone Kickoff Klassic, the first ever recorded tournament in league history. The hype for this tournament has reached its maximum potential and opening kickoff is right around the corner leaving people wondering why they had their SBPL fantasy draft so early. Nonetheless lets get down to business. The team that won this tournament last year, Bumand and Leiterman, and nonchalantly took all but one(2nd place) tournament last year is looking to be the clear favorite. Current champs Zahny and Kyle wont be in action, and the only other team to hold the belts for a substantial amount of time, Genke and Truyman, will also not be a team. So your probably saying these Buman and Leiterman will undisputably be wearing gold at the end of the night right? WRONG!! Just kidding you were right the first time. All though they may run into an upset on their familiar trail to the championship these two SBPL future Hall O' Famers are still my pick to win.
As for the rest of the field, my number two pick lacks chemistry but has an unlimited amount of potential to beat anyone, anywhere, anytime. Genke and the Doctor himself Strokefson will make teams look ridiculous and degraded to the point they will ponder why they even entered this tournament. My third team I am very familiar with mainly because I am half of the team. Gregg and Truyman have lost some team unity but still present a very good team. They are statistically the only team that has proven to beat the dynamic duo of Buman and Joe considerable amounts of time, handing them their only loss in last years KKK and taking 2nd place in the only two tournaments they entered. Not to mention a 3-0 night against the two in regular league play.
My next picks may come as a surprise to most, but without doubt there is a strong foundation behind my bold picks. The obvious favorite for the fourth team to make the playoffs is the combo that handed Joe and Buman one of their rare tournament losses, Jayke and Justin. However this is the same team that lost to Brill and Mullen not very long ago. Here's the shocker, they will advance to the playoffs but depending on their pool they will either tie with or win in a tiebreaker to the highly underrated newbie team of Steve-O and Claude. Yes, unfortunately Claude's dreams will all run dry but this team will clearly make noise in their SBPL debut. Claude has proven to be dominant at times and his partner Steve-O is playing for the first time since he was a forefather for the establishment of SBPL and is a very good shot I might add. As for my 6 through 8 picks, the three teams of Brill and Mullen, AJ and Berto and Zahny and Bridges, I'v used a magical picking method I call which team won't fuck themselves over the most. So for my number 6 pick I have the reigning champ Adam Zahn, his sharpshooting ability and consistency has him a top go getter for 1st team all tourny but with too many question marks surrounding this new team they will not pull out an over par performance. My number seven team goes to Young Gun Eric Mullen and his Mulching partner Shaun Brill. These two have very good ability and awesome team chemistry but because of their drunken antics and extreme amount of fun, the long ball will hurt them tremendously in the long run. My last team has a player that will be in bed for weeks because his back will be unbelievably sore from carrying his 250 pound Arab partner. But....AJ will look at making all tourny team and maybe even the honor of sharpshooter. It is hard to give a decent rank to a team with a Puerto Rican that averages negative cups when he plays but anytime your playing with sharpshooter you have a legit chance to be beat anyone and this is why their rank doesn't do them much justice.
As for my number 9 selection there isn't much more to say besides the fact that Mike King and Gabe Vega are two Injuns with some talent but no experience or SBPL. Their natural ability to sink a ball into a cylinder will by default place these two at number 9. Number 10, it feels good to know we have an all male team that may actually be statistically worse than a female team but this team has one thing the other two teams do not, testies, I hope. And that team is Ryan and Jamie, two rookies who have sub par Triple A expereince. As for the women im going to flip a coin, I flipped it, the two Katies won And Noell and Michelle assume last place in my power rnakings. That's all there is to say about these two teams. Both have experience, they both have been on the SBPL circuit as long or longer as the other teams but still lack that almighty thing us males like to refer to as success. I was just starting to get warmed up but I think I'll leave this column at where it stands.
Here in the SBPL were always looking ahead, right now we are in the works of establishing a solid idea for the next tournament. The current idea were working on is a world cup of beer pong theme. Instead of representing your country you'll be representing your Beer. For example Team Keystone Light, you will only be able to drink Keystone light no one else can and you can feel free to deck yourself out in Keystone gear and wave Keystone flags. Let me hear what your thoughts are and if you have any other ideas. Oh I almost forgot, if you have an issue with what I write or disagree with something I said it would probably be in your best interest to SUCK IT. Welp See Ya Later
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